if this test comes back positive, i have the chance of losing my best friend, and i dont know what i would do

It fucking SUCKS when you like someone that doesn’t know and doesn’t feel the same. He’s not one to have a girlfriend so idk why I let myself like him so much. It’s so out of no where. But I dream about him and us and make up my whole life in my head it sucks. We’re such good friends but part of me just wants more. I’m stuck between thinking of I’m just lonely, or I really do like him, I know I really do, but my loneliness is taking over I think

I was down to forget about it all, to be close again, but I knew it wouldnt happen, because if we all hung out, id be perfectly fine, and I just KNOW that you guys would make it awkward, youd act like we just met, right then. honestly, i could care less, thats just my mind speaking, so don’t take it to heart, im not gonna lie and say im fine with it because im not. but right now, who gives a fuck, im worrying about having a better life, with friends or without them, all im focusing on is working out and school, only friend i see everyday and i can call my best friend is kiah, i love her to death, sisters is a better term.